Miss Perfect, Dethroned

I asked the Lipsticks:  What about you do you feel is imperfect?  And how do you manage it?

LotusFlower, "My professional situation is imperfect.  I want to be independent."

UptownGirl, "My imperfections undermine my time management."

YogaChild, "There is a saying that how you do anything is how you do everything, and that shows who you are as a person."


LotusFlower has a PhD of Literature, and a goal to read 75 books per year.  While her academics are dynamic, she troubles to find a job she enjoys and fulfills her energy wisely.

UptownGirl handles the public relations for an haute couture lace company, and dreams of one day having a home art studio.  She struggles with time management, as she targets all her energies into the details of a project.

YogaChild is in a transition after kissing the corporate world goodbye, and is earning her yoga certificate to teach others how to feel good from the inside out.  She is solving her imperfections through lifestyle choices such as no alcohol.

I am MissLipstickLunch, an interior decorator, and I would like to sell vintage clothes at flea markets across the country.  My problem is that I believe I must be thin in order to be happy and accepted.



We tried to define perfection:  The idealistic wish, desire and determination to be perfect, flawless.  Everything you want to be.


I wanted to know, why does my battle against food keep me from being perfect?  And why is perfect something I am aiming for?

UptownGirl feels the root of her issues are how she procrastinates knowing the effort she is going to put forth.


It is our determination to fulfill a certain standard, which sets ourselves up for disappointment.  We start our own battles.

UptownGirl then continued, "When I am most happy is when I am letting go and I am not perfect."


But what about control?  Letting go is definitely part of easing the pressure and being natural.  Yet I like to maintain control in my life.  What is the art of letting go balanced by remaining true to your standards?

A book that I had heard about on the news and actually found in a box on the street helped me realize
that I have a perfectionist conflict.  And that I am not alone as many young women face the same issues.  It is called, "Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters," by Courtney E. Martin.

She is basically saying that we X, Y -er's and millenials are women who were told, 'we can be anything' and heard instead, 'we have to be everything.'

That the realities of life are beneath us and that we are all stars destined to be the editors-in-chiefs, first ladies, fashion designers with voices who would make a difference.  Martin talked about her we were shocked to be gophers with starting salaries that had to climb the ladder to reach the corner office.  In response to our confusion we developed eating disorders.  To fill a void and blame ourselves for what we didn't think was good enough.

Thus, I developed an eating disorder where I went between skipping meals and overeating.  Up, down, up, down. This is not healthy, and so I would like to gain a positive outlook on food to brighten my attitude.

The topic of perfectionism shifted to lifestyle changes.

YogaChild suggested a "casual healthy" approach.  She said when you eat you must be like, "it's what I am."

UptownGirl said, "eat for your mind."  She said that what you eat influences how you think and feel about yourself.  So by eating smart, you will feel good and more confidant about your work.  This outlook will boost your energy.

LotusFlower said, "I used to be much slimmer.  It's hard to diet."

And I agreed with her, that I felt so anxious about what I ate.  Becoming naturally healthy is a process, and I am taking it day by day.  My fridge is stocked with vanilla yogurt, green apples, tuna fish, and lots of snacks like almonds, granola and peanut butter.

Knowing who we are and holding our heads up high is beautiful.  Perfect is not part of the equation.