Inner Bitchery: 10 Questions

Women check other women out, spy through Facebook pictures like tabloids, knock on how she took too long of a lunch break during work, and then declare to be above the rest.  Feelin' guilty?

I asked what it means to be a bitch.  Lipstick Lunch answered...

Q1.  Define Bitch.

Someone driven.

Someone who goes out of their way to be aggressive.

We bring life into the world and we can suck it back up.

Fairness, truth can be bitchery.

Someone authoritative.

Taking advantage of someone else.

Q2.  Who is your favorite bitch?

Bethany Frankel, Scarlett O’Hara, Heidi Klum, Hilary Clinton and Mom aka Head Bitch In Charge (HBIC)

Q3.  Can you get ahead in this world without being a bitch?

No.  Because you’ll never get what you want.

Q4.  What is the root of bitchery?

Competition.  The insecurity of looks drives the war between women.  Why?  Because everyone likes beautiful things.

Q5.  Could bitchery be avoided?

The trouble is learning how to say no.

Q5.  How big of a bitch are you on a scale of 1-10.  1 being the Passive Patty and 10 being the Bitchy Betty.

It is good to be a 5 or a 6.

In my head I want to be a 10, I have the best comebacks!

1 is having no self confidence (hurting yourself) and 10 is hurting others.

Q6.  What is the satisfaction you gain by snooping through another girl’s Facebook photos?

I was doing this last night!

Looking at other people’s lives and comparing your life to theirs.  You see people with their cheesy smiles and laugh to think your life is better.

Keep tabs on old best friends.

Q7.  Are you a bitch towards men and/or women or both?

I’m more upfront with a guy.  With a girl I frame it in a nicer way whereas with a guy I don’t mince my words.  

Men don’t know how to react to power.

Men and women are socialized differently.  Men are much more literal and women over interpret things.  Sometimes it is much easier to talk to men.

Q8.  Why do men date bitchy girls?

Because they want a girl who doesn’t always say yes.  

Because they’re hot.  It’s a paradox.

Q10.  Would you rather come back as a man or a woman if you could do it all over again?

I would be a woman, because it is so much god damned fun.

I’d be me, I like being a tomboy.

Women are finally taking a stand in government.  Being a part of that would be a joy.

Labels:  Out of the ten people total at this Lipstick Lunch, 5 said they would want to be called a bitch and 5 said they would not want to be called a bitch.

My Favorite F Word is Feminism

PolicyMic.com listed 28 moments women rocked the world in 2013.  The beginning mentioned celebrities who have voiced big opinions for women and then the list became more serious, or at least more political and cultural.  Check the link: 

 http://www.policymic.com/articles/76145/28-most-iconic-feminist-moments-of-2013

1).  Jennifer Lawrence Inspired Women to Love Their Bodies

2).  Robin Thicke Got the Treatment He Oh-So-Deserved

3).  Amy Poehler and Tina Fey Made Us Pee Our Pants

4).  Beyoncé Came Out As  Proud Feminist

5).  Bollywood Actress Slammed Down a Reporter Who Criticized Her Views on the Patriarchy

6).  International Outrage After Gang Rape in India Sparkled Historic Change in Laws

7).  GolieBlox Proved That Girls Can Be More than Princesses

8).  Mindy Kaling Exposed One of the Worst Double Standards for Women

9).  Wendy Davis Performed a Historic Filibuster and Became a Feminist Hero

10).  Sarah Slamen’s Badass Takedown of Anti-Choice Texas Republicans Went Viral

11).  John Legend Told All Men They Should Be Feminists

12).  Kerry Washington Became the First Black Female Nominee for Lead Since 1995

13).  Ellen Took Down Abercombie and Fitch’s CEO for Shaming Plus-Size Women 

14).  Malala Made a Groundbreaking (and Very Feminist) Speech at the United Nations

15).  #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen Trending All Around the World

16).  DOMA and Prop 8 Were Struck Down on the Same Day

17).  This Awesome Rape Prevention Video Parody From India Traveled ‘Round the World

18).  Rick Perry’s Wife Accidentally Came Out of the Pro-Choice Closet

19).  Zerlina Maxwell Took Down Rape Culture Like a Boss

20).  New York’s Celebrity Pro-Choice Telethon Raised More Than $50,000 for Texas Women

21).  Elizabeth Warren Brought Her Milkshake to the Republican Yard

22).  Melissa-Harris-Perry and bell hooks Hung Out and Let the Rest of Us Watch

23).  Marisa Alexander Was Released From Jail

24).  GLAAD Expanded its’ Mission to Include Trans People

25).  Tampons Went Viral

26).  Facebook Leaned in and Promised to Crack Down on Rape Jokes

27).  “Orange is the New Black” Premiered, Featuring the Amazing Laverne Cox

28).  Gloria Steinem was Awarded With the Highest Civilian Honor

The Co-Founder of Lipstick Lunch: Meet Padmini

Padmini, whose name derives from the Hindi version of Aphrodite, is the reason Lipstick Lunch still exists.  When I would get lazy, she would ask me about the next lunch and push me to set a day, send the emails. 

Padmini is the lover of life, the free-spirit.  She is not afraid to put herself out there, get involved, try new dances, eat a plate of french fries, travel to a convention in Michigan about Medieval Romance, which she is earning her Ph.D in right now.  She will carry a 50 lb. box of books from downtown to uptown and then all the way to her home in New Jersey to learn, to study.

One thing she won’t ever do is have oral sex, and therefore she refers to herself as the, “Charlotte,” of the group. 

She loves taking pictures, and would like two toy poodles, “to complete her every picture.”  

I recently visit her home and stayed with her family.  Her parents grow okra, tomatoes, curry, figs, and 15-foot sunflowers in their backyard.  They are young at heart and truly kind, happy, good people.  They taught me how to cook a coconut soup from their region in India, Kerala, and we watched the Bollywood movie, Dilwale Dulhania le Jayenge, that would be the equivalent to the American film, Grease. 

Each Lipstick Lunch, Padmini brings up three topics.  She brings in her favorite quote or clip from a TV show to discuss.  

For Lipstick Lunch, she is the woman who plays story teller.  

She would like to tell you three things you would not know from meeting her right away...

1. I love attending the Mermaid Parade. I dress up as a magical mermaid-fairy queen and sometimes add bubbalicious to the flavor by carrying a giant bubbly wand. I love disappearing into the magical fairy tale that day to celebrate the beginning of summer, my favorite season, and the mythology of mermaids and sea creatures and the history of Coney Island.

2. I love wearing bikinis and posting 10,000 bikini photos of myself on Facebook. I just love the fashion of bikinis and flaunting the female figure.

3. I have become quite street-smart about saving money. Let us just say that I know some little known ways of saving money and getting things for free without breaking the law. For example, in five years, I have saved over $1,000 on subway fares and an additional $1,000 on train fares in different ways. I have also found a way to order books from the publisher for free and recently ordered a $500 book from the publisher for free by extending some of my special privileges.

Oh, Mother! Written by co-founder, Mireille.

Our dear mothers. They brought us into the world and we love them for it. They drove us to school when we were late, took care of us when we were sick, and threw us the most wonderful birthday parties.

And then we grew up. Became women just like them, a competitor in the female arena. We have our own set of dreams, and goals, and plans just like they had, like they have.

Now that we too are adults, it feels like our mothers' criticisms and little comments have become more of an attack. A clever way of bringing us down, drowning us in their condescending river of motherly love. They mean well but often times it comes out wrong and we take it that way.

And with the holidays approaching we will all have to face our moms and their hurtful jokes and snide comments. But we will also be the very willing victims of a thousand hugs and kisses and true unconditional love.

She means well. You know she does. So that it with a grain of salt, and tell her you love her damn it!

Clean Plate Club Blues

Have you ever looked at another girl’s plate to see how much of her food she ate compared to you?

It is a contest.  A real best friend dips her chip deep into the bowl of guacamole and says, “fuck bikini season.”

In a way, we drive each other’s issues with eating.  I can count the girls I know on one hand who do not have a paranoia about food and how much of it they put into their mouths.  

1. Mary Jane:  She smokes pot all day and eats like a bird but then every once in a while goes crazy for snacks. 
2. Business Miss:  She is simply a driven hard working girl who eats her sandwich and brownie and then every once in a while diets.  She does it silently, as in she doesn’t alert the world she is watching her weight, she just does it independently.
3. Southern Belle:  She loves loves loves unhealthy food and orders the fried chicken, biscuits and gravy but eats about a quarter of it.  It is a tradeoff.  She can’t resist her pleasure but has control.
4. Lucky Bitch:  She literally has a tape worm or some kind of sleeping disorder where the doctor told her, “to eat more salt...bags of chips.”  She is told to eat a ton to maintain her string bean figure.  

Recently I was sent old photos of me and two friends in a bath tub.  That night was so much fun!  But what we said when we looked at the pictures is that we are bigger now than we were then.  We proceeded to scan through Facebook photos of times when we were thinner and therefore, “better-looking.”  We are pissed and have excuses for why we have gained weight.  It’s not fair!

Part of me doesn’t know how to feel about food, except that the busier I am, the less I care.  The other part of me is obsessed and would hate to be an ounce less attractive because of that cookie I enjoyed.  It is such an up and down thing, but I would like to be happy with myself without thinking about my body.  Inner peace.

Girl Stuff

Toni Wallace is the Lipstick Lunch correspondent from South Korea.  She can pick up any instrument and figure out how to play it, teaches kids how to speak English using games and humor, and whips up the most delicious delicious-ness in the kitchen.

This girl is on fire!

To keep up with the important things happening in the world, she reads unique blogs like this one about the conscious behaviors girls do privately.

"27 Bizarre Things That All Women Have Done At Least Once,"
from Thought Catalog.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-fagan/2013/10/27-bizarre-things-that-all-women-have-done-at-least-once/

Kegels, pooping in public, bra adjustments, and looking in the mirror to see what the guy sees during doggy style....   no shame.


10 Reasons Why I Am A Weird Girl Too

1).  Costco pack panties and socks.  Sexy comes from within?

2).  Refuse to wear contacts, even though I really need them.
Glasses on = serious
Glasses off = floating on the clouds

3).  Check the menu for the healthiest option, order it, dwell upon what I really wanted, and then eat cookies after dinner.

4).  Negotiate with myself that drinking to fall asleep is okay so long as I promise not to hit snooze in the morning.  But know I will snooze regardless.

5).  Try on clothes at shops and not buy them.  It's like playing dress up.

6).  Make "will-read-this-later" piles of magazine articles, old notes and index cards, quickie brochures, and really never get to it until like months later when I am having a compulsive clean-up and throw them away in disappointment.

7).  Body shower + perfume.  Quickly wash my feet and sponge bath standing up.  It feels good, I smell good and it saves time.

8).  Get obsessed with songs and then listen to them on repeat:
"You and I," by John Legend
"By Your Side," by Sade
"Ave Maria," by Schubert

9).  Say the dumbest things, or be speechless around guys.  Then when I am re-telling the story to a friend say what I wish I said to sound like a witty rockstar.

10).  Earrings.  Doesn't matter if I'm painting the walls or at a grand ball, I am naked without earrings.

Lipstick Art Sculptures

Taiwanese artist, May Sum, sculpts lipsticks of power women.  She used a shimmery gold tube for Marilyn, a classic red for Audrey, and even captured the intricate eyelashes of Twiggy in lipstick.

I have heard of using lipstick to write a provocative message on a mirror, but never before had I thought to use the actual lipstick as the art.  Pure genius.

Lipstick Gaga

Lennon Shades oh mannnnnnnnn  

Lipstick Diana

Pucker up, People Princess!

Lipstick Anna

The bob is trimmed to perfection.

Lipstick Coco

Hat and pearls, done and done.

the link to May Sum's website for creative make up is:  http://wahahafactory.com/

Viva la RomCom!

JEOPARDY:  Meg Ryan waited for Tom Hanks with a red rose in which romantic comedy movie?

No, not Sleepless...

...


...

Give up?

What is, You’ve Got Mail.  And Meg waited with her wed wose at Cafe Lalo on the Upper West Side.  No doubt the perfect setting for a, “Viva la RomCom!” Lipstick Lunch.

Trees glistening with lights mark the entrance of the cafe.  The music that evening switched from old jazz to soft techno and the decor is très Montmartre bobo (French slang for BOhemian BOurgeois).  

Bobos in action

I am mad that I was not in the mood for something sweet because their bakery of cakes, tarts, and cheesecakes is sensationally overwhelming.  “Deep dish pecan tart with chocolate chips in a cookie dough crust drizzled with chocolate”  Muaha, I will return.  Had soft-boiled eggs with herbs and gouda cheese and a glass of cabernet.  

Conversation prop:  When Harry Met Sally screenplay, compliments to my neighbor Alex*, who does stand-up comedy and recently attended a Bon Jovi concert.  He rules.

For homework all the girls had to pick their favorite romantic comedy and bring in a quote or a dreamteam from one of the movies to discuss.

While waiting for the girls to arrive, G*, who we will refer to as Girlzilla, read Sally’s part when she orders from a menu. 

If having specifications make us divas, then so be it.  Mantra: I want it the way I want it.

Girlzilla had not seen the movie and so I asked her whether she thought men and women could be friends.  As it is the main question the movie asks.

She replied that a man and a woman can be friends if they are both logical.  

Then C* and K* sat down and ordered a cheese plate and some wine.  C*, Calamity Jane, always has white wine, K*, Kiss Kiss, always red.  

Calamity Jane brought up Shopgirl, the novella turned RomCom written by Steve Martin.  Quite false his impression of women was.  There is no way in hell Martin understands what it is like to have boobs; just because he is obsessed with them doesn’t mean we are.  Sometimes they sweat, sometimes they get in the way, whatever.  

Kiss Kiss said she has a friend who has three nipples.

What a great ice breaker for a first date...

Before we go any further, I’d better tell you now that I have three nipples.

Then just let that simmer for a minute.

Beautiful eyes.

Question #1:  What is your number one deal breaker when it comes to guys?

Girlzilla-  He must believe in G-d.

Calamity Jane-  Don’t be a murderer.

Kiss Kiss-  Wants a reliable guy.

Question #2:  Must the guy pay on the first date?

Yes, HE must pay!

a).  insight for how he will treat you down the road

b).  putting stakes in your potential relationship aka he wants you

c).  it’s just the way it’s done

No, equality of the sexes!

a).  renders you in some form or fashion a prostitute, what is he buying?

b).  why not, you both work hard and can handle the bill

c).  show your balls and buy the beers

The yesterday and tomorrow determining, “who pays the bill” is that there was a time when splitting the bill was inconceivable.  If today we are in the position to pay too, then what will dating be like in ten years?  

Maybe the ideal first date shouldn’t have a paying factor.  Go to a free museum, go for a walk, see an outdoor concert, keep it simple.